1. You feel like you’re coated in a permanent lining of dried sweat and whiskey.
2. The very mention of “shots” makes you want to hire your own personal security detail.
3. You’ve crossed paths with a particular bouncer with such frequency, you’ve started to wonder, with incredible detail, what his life outside his job is like.
4. Hangovers have taken on the mantra of the girlfriend who’s around so often, it really doesn’t make sense not to move in.
5. Every upbeat song making the current radio rounds is somewhat familiar, though you don’t have the slightest clue who all these “going out” songs are by.
6. You’ve slept on enough random couches to have penned an Anthony Bourdain-esque adventure book.
7. You haven’t bought new clothes in 2 months, but your checking account looks like the body of Archduke Franz Ferdinand immediately after hanging out with Gavrilo Princip.
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