Wounded Heart

It’s amazing what warmer weather and sunshine can do for your soul. I’ve actually never enjoyed the static radio coming from the motorcycles passing by as much as I do today. Do you ever wonder if everyone else is struggling as much as you are? I mean, obviously there are people who have it so much worse than I do. I still wonder why I hurt so much.

Having a breakdown can be very healing. It’s the events that lead up to the breakdown that leave you feeling wounded. Anxiety is a bitch. Sometimes I feel like I’m making progess; I’m leaving this rut I’ve been stuck in. Sometimes I feel like I’m taking a step back. Keep pushing.

You can’t fix people. You an hardly fix yourself. I’ve come across people who lack so much self respect that they can’t treat anyone humanly. And sometimes there’s people that I just want to SHAKE.

I think the worst kind of emotion is when you’re so angry and upset that you lose control. This is a breakdown. Uncontrollable tears. Some people might call it an “ugly cry”. They say that tears are cleansing and I believe that. I think you know you’ve had a good cry when you feel tired afterwards and the heaviness in your heart has lifted, even if only momentarily. Moments like this are sobering.

I’ve become open to new ideas and opinions, more so than if I would have never moved away from my home. I’m still very true to myself. I’m ready for change. I’ve always needed change. I’ll always need change. If you ask anyone what they want out of life I think most of them would tell you that they want to be happy. I want that, too. I want to be able to rise after every fall.

My God is a God of peace. That’s all I can ever need.

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