Euphoria

I love the feeling of euphoria. When you’re so lifted that nothing matters at all. The worst part about the addiction is feeling unhappy when you’re not getting your fix. People can be addicted to literally anything that makes them feel good. Everyone likes to feel good and everyone has their own way of reaching that feel-good happiness.

Some like the way they feel and hate the way they act. Some like everything about it. If you have an addictive personality, which in turn could really just mean you are a person who craves zest in life, you can easily become overcome by anything sinful. Or not so sinful.

I’m starting a new paragraph in a new chapter of a new book I’m living. It’s the new me living in a new city doing new things. Be prepared because I’m really unsure what’s to come. I think that’s exciting but it makes me anxious at the same time. Time to become the best version of myself.

Sleep easy.

Wounded Heart

It’s amazing what warmer weather and sunshine can do for your soul. I’ve actually never enjoyed the static radio coming from the motorcycles passing by as much as I do today. Do you ever wonder if everyone else is struggling as much as you are? I mean, obviously there are people who have it so much worse than I do. I still wonder why I hurt so much.

Having a breakdown can be very healing. It’s the events that lead up to the breakdown that leave you feeling wounded. Anxiety is a bitch. Sometimes I feel like I’m making progess; I’m leaving this rut I’ve been stuck in. Sometimes I feel like I’m taking a step back. Keep pushing.

You can’t fix people. You an hardly fix yourself. I’ve come across people who lack so much self respect that they can’t treat anyone humanly. And sometimes there’s people that I just want to SHAKE.

I think the worst kind of emotion is when you’re so angry and upset that you lose control. This is a breakdown. Uncontrollable tears. Some people might call it an “ugly cry”. They say that tears are cleansing and I believe that. I think you know you’ve had a good cry when you feel tired afterwards and the heaviness in your heart has lifted, even if only momentarily. Moments like this are sobering.

I’ve become open to new ideas and opinions, more so than if I would have never moved away from my home. I’m still very true to myself. I’m ready for change. I’ve always needed change. I’ll always need change. If you ask anyone what they want out of life I think most of them would tell you that they want to be happy. I want that, too. I want to be able to rise after every fall.

My God is a God of peace. That’s all I can ever need.

The Infamous First Post

Well here it goes. I had an incling to start a blog and here I am, in search for my ‘niche’. What should I write about? Should I post weekly? Maybe daily? No. Weekly sounds more managable.

It’s 10:30 on a Wednesday night and I’m surrounded by the sound of country music blaring through the laptop, young adult women running around the halls of the dorm, and the unattractive noise of the microwave spinning right outside the door.

I was told by a good friend of mine for many years that I have had, so far, a very ‘interesting’ life and that’s what I should write about. I guess I’ll take her advice, like I always do, because she’s one of the wisest and most genuine ladies I know.

What a year 2013 is starting out to be. Not so much negative, but a real test of faith. At the begining of January when I returned to Minot for second semester my 1994 Olds Cutty took a big shit on me. See ya, car…I was not impressed. From that moment on it’s just been one miniscule thing after another. Needless to say I’m counting down the days until spring break. I’m putting off studying for a huge psych test by blogging tonight. I’ve never had over-the-top time managment skills, but we all have room to improve, right?

Planning to get my random, sometimes pointless, thoughts out once a week. In the meantime you’ll find me on Pinterest and Twitter.

Lots more to come.

Get excited.